My Story Related

Kathleen

Like many others faced with infertility, my parents turned to sperm donation to create their family. My conception through anonymous sperm donation occurred May 4, 1981 at St. Luke’s in Houston, Texas. Following standard practice of the time, my parents received no information about the man - including medical history, heritage, or a donor number - beyond the fact that he probably attended Baylor College of Medicine in 1981. Therefore, my mother could not provide any other information about my biological father when she told me of my history at age eight. I initially did not care, though, and instead viewed my conception as special and magical.  I was intrigued by the concept of an abstract, unknown family.

However, eventually my fascination progressed to curiosity about the mystery man who contributed to half of my genetic make-up. Among many other questions, I hoped to discover whose face I saw reflected in my mirror given that I do not particularly resemble my maternal relatives and I wanted to know how we were similar. I requested my mother’s medical records, only to be informed that they were destroyed years ago. By college, I experienced grief and loss in being intentionally denied access to own flesh and blood. I found it ironic that what leads many people to donor conception in the first place - the desire for a biological connection - had been severed between my missing biological father, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, half-brothers, half-sisters and me through anonymous sperm donation.

With little information to go on and no records available, I turned to the old Baylor College of Medicine yearbooks. I naively believed that one man would jump out of the pages within a few hours and I would find my answers. However, I began to realize that I could resemble dozens of me. I gradually obtained contact information for all 600 men in the yearbooks, sent them letters, received 250 responses, and completed 16 DNA tests in 14 months. Despite a 900-hour emotional but touching journey, my biological father has yet to come forward.  I now try to use my story to raise awareness about donor conception and advocate for needed changes within reproductive medicine.

For additional information about my story, please visit my blog at childofastranger.blogspot.com.

Kathleen.