My Story Related

I am 47 years old and I was brought up my mother and my father and like any other person had lived my whole life thinking that my dad was my biological father.  This is the story of me finding out that he wasn’t and after 47 years, meeting the man who was.

About 21 years ago, I starting hanging around with my friend Sarah, who’s father hung out with a man named Dave.  One day, Sarah told me that her dad had told her that Dave was my biological.  I knew that my mom dated Dave when I was about 6 years old but didn’t think they had been together before that.  When she told me that Dave was my father, I told her that I never wanted to hear anything like that again from her.  Keep in mind my mom and dad were alive at this time and I didn’t want to believe what my friend had said to me.  I lived the next 21 years never discussing this topic again with my friend Sarah.

Well about 6 weeks ago I woke up one morning and decided that I needed to know the truth about Dave being my dad.  I call up Sarah and reminded her about 21 years ago when she had told me that Dave was my father and that I wanted to talk about it.  My mom, dad and brother had all passed away, so I figured there was nobody who could be hurt by this except me.

Sarah called up Dave and told him that I wanted to find out if he was my father.  Dave was very receptive to finding out.  I purchased the DNA test and we went to Dave’s house.  I gave him and myself the swab and sent it away to the lab and anxiously waited.  I got the results and yes Dave is my dad and it turned out that I have 6 brothers and sisters who wanted to meet me. I was the person who always wished that I had a big family because I never had one. My mom and Dad had no brothers and sisters and my mom only had myself and a boy who had already passed away.

I called Dave and told him the results which he already knew but the proof was a good thing to have.  The next day Dave called me and invited me to a party that my brothers and sisters were going to have to welcome me into the family.  I accept even though I was very scared to meet these people who I had never known.  Would they like me? Did they think that I was out to gain something? I didn’t know what they were thinking.

I never felt so welcome in all my life.  I have 2 sisters and 4 brothers with 2 of whom I look identical. I had such a good time and I spent Fathers day with my new dad and my family at my house.  I just love belonging to my new family and we speak and try to hang out at least once a week.

As it turns out, my mom had had an affair when she was married to my dad and back in those days you weren’t suppose to do that.  My mom and Dave made a pact that my dad would raise me and no one would ever know the real truth. I am not mad at all at my mother because I had a very good life with my dad and he never knew that I wasn’t his daughter.  I know that even if he had known he still would have loved me and taken care of me because he was a great man. That is my story and I am so happy that I went this route because now I have a new Dad and 6 wonderful brothers and sisters that I love being around and I will have many more years with them thanks to the results of the paternity test.

Here is my story. Back in 1998 my girlfriend of 1 month turned up pregnant. She told me the child was mine and we had a daughter later that year.

After being a father to this child for a year and a half, the mother (who I was no longer dating) told me that I was not the father. She said the man she had been seeing prior to dating me was her father. This explained why I had never been put on the birth certificate.

About three years went by and after my old girlfriend and the child had moved to another state, out of nowhere I received papers for me to pay child support. I talked with a lawyer about how I should handle this, now that the mother was saying that I was the father. Even though I was not listed on the birth certificate, because I had signed a Declaration of Paternity when the child was a few months old in order to get health insurance for her, I was now legally her father whether biologically I or not.

I cannot tell you how devastating this all was. Regardless, I did the right thing and began supporting this child. Even though I was doing this, I always wondered and felt different about her not knowing if she was really mine. I knew a paternity test wouldn’t change my responsibility for this child but after nine years of not knowing, I needed that peace of mind. I felt that I could move on with my relationship with her if I knew for sure whether she was really my daughter or whether I adopted a child the day I signed that Declaration of Paternity.

My wife found a Paternity test kit at Rite Aid and bought one. During our last visit to this child, we did the test and were excited to finally learn the truth, she is biologically mine. We were happy and relieved and this dark cloud was finally lifted. I wish this home test would have been available years ago so that I would not have missed out on so much. I was relieved to put an end to the question I had had for almost 10 years.

On August 19, 2008, I met my biological father for the first time in twenty years. I’ve always heard stories about him from my mother, but that just wasn’t enough for me. So on my eighteenth birthday, I wrote him a letter letting explaining who I was and that I wanted to get to know him. I never got a response of any kind which made me think that he didn’t really care or that he was married and his wife didn’t know he had another child.

Two years went by and out of nowhere this unfamiliar black Nissan truck pulls up in front of my house around 11o’clock at night. So I went outside to see who it was and this very deep voice blurted out, “Does Karen still live here?” I thought to myself who is this man asking for my mother at this time of night. So I asked “What is your name?” and he responded with hesitation, my name is Curtis. It was like this strange feeling came over me because my mother always told me that my father’s name was Curtis. My thoughts were running a hundred miles a minute, and so I said “my father?”

He instantly parked his truck in the middle of the street to get a good look at me. He had this shocked look upon his face like he already knew that I was his daughter. Once we began talking it was like this part of me, that I’ve been wanting to get to know, was looking me in my eyes. He explained to me that he was never around because my mother wouldn’t allow him to come around. It kind of made me a little upset with my mother, but I couldn’t just believe everything he was telling me. I had never met him before and knew nothing about him but made myself believe him because he could have possibly been my father. I explained to him that what happened between him and my mother was in the past and that I had forgiven him for never being a part of my life. I just wanted to have that father-daughter relationship with him. We exchanged numbers and he called me the following week to set up a day to go get a paternity test.
We went to Rite Aid and purchased a Paternity Test and took it back to my home. There was so much anticipation in me that you could pop it like a balloon. After a few days, I called him to tell him that the results had arrived so that we could open them together. The results read that I had finally found my father after twenty long years.

I can’t even explain how good it felt to finally meet him. There’s no greater feeling than to finally have found him after twenty years of not knowing. I couldn’t stop crying as it was just so emotional for both of us. I called and told my mother that I finally met him and that a paternity test proved that he was indeed my father.

Ever since that day, everything in my life just seems right. I’ve met all my brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and most importantly my grandmother. I look just like her and that makes me so very happy. I have a great relationship with my two little sisters, which I never thought I would have. Even though I’ve met my biological father that doesn’t change the way that I feel towards my step-father. He was there for me my whole life and he still is there for me today. The fact that he acts the same towards me now as he did before I knew my real father makes me really appreciate and love him even more. I’m happy that I can say that I have two father figures that play an important role in my life. There’s nothing like having love that you never knew existed. I am glad that I took the Paternity Test because It helped me find a part of me that I thought I would never know.

A couple of months ago my mom received some news about the possibility of my dad fathering two other girls. I grew up as the only spoiled child and had always wanted and begged for a brother or sister.

Because both of the girls lived in Costa Rica, we began talking on the phone for a whole month, wishing that we could be sisters.   To find out for sure, I bought a paternity test kit and mailed it to the first girl so she could take the samples with the help of a friend of mine.

After collecting the samples and mailing them in, we received the news that made us the happiest people on Earth.  We were in fact Sisters.  I called my sister and gave her the news and we both shared a long distance cry together.  I immediately hopped on a plane with my father and flew to Costa Rica to meet my sister and niece and nephew.  We met them at the airport and it was the most unbelievable feeling hugging my new found family.

My sister grew up poor and I grew up the opposite way.  I now want to share everything with her and make up for the 30 years we were kept apart.  She had known about me since she was 10 and had always loved me. She always dreamed about me but never did anything because she was a daughter out of marriage and did not want to cause trouble.  My sister is the best person.  Humble, loving, simple, just like my Grandma who passed away without knowing about her.  My niece who is 11 years old, looks just like my 10 years old boy and her son who is 14, looks just like my dad did when he was young.  My sister does not look like me at all because she takes after her mom, but we both share our love, happiness and faith and I am willing to share my dad for the rest of my life with her.  I returned from my trip 4 days ago and I do miss the 3 of them.  I hope they can get a US visa and come to my house.

While we were down there, my sister had the opportunity to meet my mom. My mom wanted to meet her not only because she was curious, but also because I told her how loving my sister, niece and nephew were.  My mom was very sick and hurt over this whole thing, but meeting my sister was not bad for her.  My sister hugged her so sincerely and my mom felt her love.

I also had a chance to meet the other possible sister while I was in Costa Rica.  My dad took her DNA samples and he retook his and today, he put both in the mail.  Soon we will find out in a few days if I am the big sister for two little gifts from God.

I am absolutely happy now. I get to be called “sister” and “aunt Mati”.