Finding My Biological Family
When I was 6 or 7 years old my Mother told me that I was not biologically hers and that my sister and I were adopted. This was stunning news because as a child I didn’t know what “adopted” meant and why this happened to me. Being labeled adopted made me feel different from everyone else and it explained why I didn’t resemble any family members. As I grew older I gained an appreciation of the blessing of adoption however I couldn’t help but feel like something was missing in my life. This void became more evident with the passing of every birthday, every Mother’s Day and even with the birth of my own children. As any curious adoptee I had a host of questions including the obvious ones of wanting to know who my birth mother and father are, what were the circumstances in my birth mother’s life that caused her to give me up for adoption, did I have any siblings? And of course who do I look like?
Since I was part of a closed adoption, my adoptive parents had no information on my biological parents. So at the age of 22 I embarked on what would be a 20 year search for my biological mother. Over the years I would gather small pieces of information along the way but my searching was difficult because of the many obstacles and challenges that were encountered. Eventually I acquired the assistance of an experienced friend and before long I was put in touch with my niece, who connected me with her Mother which was my biological sister. She connected me with another sister I didn’t know I had. My sisters had known about me for years and had wanted to search for me but didn’t know where to begin .They were both stunned and delighted to learn I had been looking for our Mother and found them along the way. Surprisingly these two sisters led me to yet another sister on my father’s side, who in turn told me about another sister and brother I have yet to meet. Shortly thereafter I came face to face with the very woman who gave me life 42 years ago, my biological Mother. After a 20 year search this experience was simply overwhelming. I later learned my biological father was living in the same city. Since my biological parents were never married he didn’t know about my birth yet he was excited to learn he had another daughter. My sisters arranged for us to meet and that was indeed a joyous experience. The interesting thing is my biological family and I lived in the same city within minutes of each other, went to the same churches and schools and even knew some of the same people but never knew we were related!
My bio Dad’s wife was not the least bit thrilled I had suddenly arrived in the family. Despite the strong family resemblance she wasn’t ready to accept me and the fact that I was her husband’s daughter. She demanded a DNA test and essentially made things very difficult. I believed the only way I was going to have a relationship with my biological father was to comply with her request.
I talked to my bio Mom about this and she mentioned she had heard Identigene’s radio commercial and suggested that I go get the test and send it in just to get the peace of mind. So I went to Rite Aid, purchased the test. I then obtained the cheek samples from my bio parents and along with my own cheek samples sent them to the lab via overnight mail. The next day I received a call from customer service confirming they received my samples and to advise me that the results would be ready within 5 days. However being anxious I checked the website daily (well hourly is more like it) and by the third day my results were ready online! Needless to say the results confirmed that I had indeed found my biological parents and siblings. I was indeed the long lost daughter and sister. More importantly the accuracy and timeliness of the DNA results put to rest any doubters in the group.
I now have a wonderful relationship with my biological family and we are looking forward to many happy years together.
